My Voiceless Screaming

the fight of the will when we communicate and take care of some parts the fight of the will when she laugh and smile while I am stay still The fight of the will When her eyes swollen and I am tried to ignore The fight of the will When they talk and play together while I stay away Indeed there is fight of the will today And i am so tired but keep pushing myself away I have make up my mind, let's see who gonna win

The earth could be shaking the sky could be broken Tears could always flowing But it wont change a thing I love you so much dear and i cant stop this feeling.... Back to my seat with sweat all over from top to feet I just want you to know That I always love you No, I dont wanna be a hero I just come to you as a plain simple man who love you with lots of hurt and pain marked blue There is thorn a head so wtf? let's get through it! there is a big hole on our road So grab your hand, and fly over it with your wing damn it! There is a giant skeleton who block our way So grab my hand! and let me smash it with my sword! I have a broken wings, but you the one who have them now You have a broken fist, I am the one who have it now So what the fuck and march! (continue to packing my stuff)

I know you just trying to be strong for me I know I can't do anything to help you Except to trust you and you trust me And I am hugging you now while you hug me So yeah, I can finally moving my ass now While i kept thinking about you I can start to packing now And my mind keep occupied by you No, you are not all right just like me No I am refuse to give up Hope you can do like me Long road a head Can't be faced by laying my back on my seat With the pain of my body And the hurt in you and me I will keep walking... keep walking.. till my last drop of my blood to fight the happiness for you and me

I know we are in hardship I know your pain is deep I know you just want to stop breath But I will always be here Night so quite after we laugh But then the storm come and strike You slept with the tears But I will do my best to help you dear I know I can't help much with your struggle But you are not alone facing the obstacles Today the day is cloudy Hope tomorrow will be easy In this silent night I hold you Put you in my arms to comfort you I know its only in our mind Hope we can be together soon and we'll be fine I wish I could do more Put that burden on my shoulder Get you out from your horror And we will be happy forever But this is the reality dear But mark my word I will fight your fear Keep in mind that you are not alone Just we promised that we are bond I can't offer you anything except that I love you It's hard to see you like dying But I will always be with you

Kupikir seperti itulah hidup Berjuang untuk orang lain Berusaha diterima oleh orang lain Berusaha membahagiakan orang lain Kupikir akulah sang bijaksana Mengarahkan mereka yang nestapa Memperkuat mereka yang terperdaya Berusaha ada untuk mereka yang sengsara Kupikir aku memang seperti ini Ditakdirkan untuk orang lain Selalu merasa empathy pada yang lain Bahkan tidak ragu memberikan nyawa untuk mengganti Kupikir memang aku harus selalu mengalah Harus mengalah agar bisa mendpatkan senyumnya Harus mengalah agar keinginanku terpenuhi Harus mengalah agar bisa mendapatkan pelukan Bukan karena diinginkan, bukan karena dicintai Kupikir aku telah mengenal diriku seutuhnya Kupikir aku yang telah menjalani waktu Mengerti sepenuhnya akan diriku Mengerti sepenuhnya akan bipolarku Dan kotak pandora pun terbuka Oleh sang begawan bijaksana Selama ini aku terbelenggu Aku harus meninggalkan pendampingku Dan aku termangu... Terjawab sudah semua kelabu Dengan dark angel di...

So.... I need to start over everything from zero. Years passed and just realized I was running and running from the real toxic source. Now I need to face it... Trying to be tough when seeing her tears, be careless and try to stop sacrificing myself just advised by my doc.... But its hard.... so hard... especially when you heard your daughter laugh... Feeling guilty... Feeling to be a bad man... Feeling sad... I felt don't have heart.. Every bad things can be heard echoing in my mind...I am fighting with myself... I just want to sit on the top of the hill... silence and feel my peace...

I wish I could do more Let me the one who take that burden from your shoulder I wish I could do more...