My Voiceless Screaming

Ketika hampa kembali terasa Dan sang durjana tertawa hahaha Ketika sepi kembali menghujam Dan sang gelap menari tralala Tatap nanar kucing coklat menusuk Dengkurnya berusaha untuk memeluk Aku terdiam dalam gelap kelabu Rasakan kembali setan yang kurindu Kuhanya ingin kembali sendiri Tanpa ada yang bisa untuk mengerti Gelegak membuncah kembali tenang Ku tak lagi merasa gundah dan lapang Apalagi yang akan direnggut? Hanya kamu yang tersisa kenapa ku harus menakutinya? Ketika sepi kembali menghujam Dan sang gelap menari tralala Dia tak lagi senang Bayang dirimu kembali datang Pertempuran tak berkesudahan Dan aku hanya pasrah dalam temaram

Tersekat... Kelu mencekat Tak sanggup aku berharap mengingat.. Bernafas... Ku berusaha bernafas namun tak pernahlah cukup ingin memeluk... kau yang ada terus menghantui diriku kau yang membuatku takut kehilanganmu Tak mampu ku bayangkan tanpa dirimu Hingga aku terbujur kaku Tak mampu...

Starting today, hope a beautiful day I see the sky, but my mind in your eyes Working today shit but I am not okay Wish you are here be my side and lay Reff: No  I don't love you like the other says My feeling to you is bigger then said No I don't miss you like the other says I'm just dying while you cannot stay I am working and I do try hard now But you keep dancing on my mind like a show Starting today, hope a beautiful day My eyes to the sky, but my mind in your eyes my mind in your eyes... my mind in your eyes... my mind in your eyes...

Tick Tock Tick Tock Keep starring on the wall Tick Tock Tick Tock Hoping you show up just like usual Tick Tock Tick Tock Times keep ticking Tick Tock Tick Tock I am still waiting Tick Tock Tick Tock We talk a lot without a word Tick Tock Tick Tock Even only Online status not a word Tick Tock Tick Tock Time is about to up Tick Tock Tick Tock When we usually good bye the night Time is up my dear Thanks God I can survive the day I hope to see you tomorrow dear Hope next time we can say good bye Hufh...

I though i am strong There will be nothing wrong But the truth is what I feel I miss her so fuckin real I felt ache in my heart I felt ache in my skin I wish i could torn them a part But you remind me to not making a sin Dear Lord I asked your forgiveness For the hurt that I barely hold Tears washing the hurt inside my chest Oh dear I just want to take you and hold Dear my lady and my soul Can you hear me i screaming your name out loud Dear my lady and half of my heart You are my sunshine in the middle of the crowd Kuma meowing sadly He just want to be hold gently How come he would know my feeling is mystery But hope I can cope and out of this misery I know its wrong but my love to you is real I know its wrong I do hope my pain can be healed Hufh...

At the first time I met you Wounded, thin and so small, I take care of you You got bigger and I underestimate you I wounded and I be taken care by you Dear my friend, years we are together For me you are my brother Facing many difficulties together You always make me feeling better Dear my friend, do you remember how hurt i am when someone tortured you? I taken care of you, and you lay down over there weak Then we gone through of it You let me heal you till you are fit and sweet Dear my friend.. Do you remember how many places we both been through? The rocky road that we faced? You always be there accompany and be strong for me Dear my friend... In my sadness, in my sorrow, in my tears You calm me down with your furr You always know when I need you Dear my friend... I am sorry that sometime I'm not letting you out to the wild Afraid of loosing you The only friend that I got who close to me is you I am sorry that sometime I harsh to you Occupied with my...

It seem quite normal Day so cloudy and dark like used to be But I felt like dying, crawl.. When you are not near me So dear wind We just hugged each other Then tears falling down She far away make me sobber Up and down like it used to be Tired of fighting, thinking when it gonna end Everyday trying to be happy But you and me know it only happen when we blend Just keep breathing dear You and me... Just keep hoping dear Happy ending we can see

Dua sejoli bercanda ria, satu sang bidadari, satu orang sang nestapa. Berlari berkejaran, tertawa tralala, indah duniawi bagai surga di dunia. Bergulung2 dua sejoli saling merengkuh tertawa, menggelinding jatuh menuju onak berduri di waktu senja. Maaf terucap, ketika pisau yang dipegang bidadari menghujam dada nestapa. Sang nestapa tersenyum hangat, sehangat darah yang mengalir dan terus merengkuhnya. Sang bidadari gesrek, dan sang nestapa sengklek. Kesekian kalinya pisau menghujam dada nestapa, Bidadari tau itu sakit, tapi entah kenapa kembali melakukannya, dan kembali meminta maaf. Sang nestapa hanya tertawa hahaha, dengan darah kembali hangat mengalir, menghangatkan dunia yang dingin penuh keluh kesah, gelap dan kesendirian yang nestapa. "Maaf".. Sang bidadari kembali berucap dan wajah penyesalan tiada taranya, pisaunya yang dia genggam semakin dalam menusuk dada sang nestapa. Sang nestapa dengan senyum hangat tersungging meraih dan merengkuh sang dewi dalam peluka...

I just about to celebrate my free With you, enjoy the nature and world to see Please don't think about die dear Since I still need you to life and be happy No need to ask me to die together Since without you, I don't think I can survive either I could die alone, old and lonely Or die soon in miserably Please don't die and hang on there my lady You are my reason and keep stay here Please be patience my love I am hugging you with my fear I love you so much dear.. And now I have nothing to think except to fear Fear that you gonna make it Fear that I will be lonely and sick without you here...

My red and white now colored in black My blue sky now is black My blue mountain is black Black by the chaos and crack Every direction I saw is black My breath is black My heart is black Black by the scream out loud I just want to tear my chest a part I scream out loud so loud till no one can hear it wtf When the earth will stop shaking When the red will gone from the night When the rocks stay put I'm so hurt and so fucked up I am so black

Been so long I haven't fight I almost forgot how my beast get caught Lowering my guard, break me a part I am so weak now, don't have any gut I eat my pride, the last treasure I have Only hoping its worth then stay nothing and be fucked up Blood from my wounds start to flow back I am just too weak to stop them and let myself cracked Stamp of the foot on my mouth I am just so damn weak to just talk Maybe I'm just too old to face that back All I can do just keep in mind that its her dog who bite I see to the sky, wind goes by I see to the past, but can't say good bye I lookup for peace by keeping my daughter accompany But she dispel me, she just too comfort with her own only Well, maybe its true.. I'm just too old for this shit Its better keep my mouth shout and do what is necessary Now I just enjoy how silence this day to be while watching the blood all over my rusty body I'm soo tired and weak I'm just too old just the way it should be I just can only smile a...

I know we are in hardship I know your pain is deep I know you just want to stop breath But I will always be here Night so quite after we laugh But then the storm come and strike You slept with the tears But I will do my best to help you dear I know I can't help much with your struggle But you are not alone facing the obstacles Today the day is cloudy Hope tomorrow will be easy In this silent night I hold you Put you in my arms to comfort you I know its only in our mind Hope we can be together soon and we'll be fine I wish I could do more Put that burden on my shoulder Get you out from your horror And we will be happy forever But this is the reality dear But mark my word I will fight your fear Keep in mind that you are not alone Just we promised that we are bond I can't offer you anything except that I love you It's hard to see you like dying But I will always be with you

Kupikir seperti itulah hidup Berjuang untuk orang lain Berusaha diterima oleh orang lain Berusaha membahagiakan orang lain Kupikir akulah sang bijaksana Mengarahkan mereka yang nestapa Memperkuat mereka yang terperdaya Berusaha ada untuk mereka yang sengsara Kupikir aku memang seperti ini Ditakdirkan untuk orang lain Selalu merasa empathy pada yang lain Bahkan tidak ragu memberikan nyawa untuk mengganti Kupikir memang aku harus selalu mengalah Harus mengalah agar bisa mendpatkan senyumnya Harus mengalah agar keinginanku terpenuhi Harus mengalah agar bisa mendapatkan pelukan Bukan karena diinginkan, bukan karena dicintai Kupikir aku telah mengenal diriku seutuhnya Kupikir aku yang telah menjalani waktu Mengerti sepenuhnya akan diriku Mengerti sepenuhnya akan bipolarku Dan kotak pandora pun terbuka Oleh sang begawan bijaksana Selama ini aku terbelenggu Aku harus meninggalkan pendampingku Dan aku termangu... Terjawab sudah semua kelabu Dengan dark angel di...

So.... I need to start over everything from zero. Years passed and just realized I was running and running from the real toxic source. Now I need to face it... Trying to be tough when seeing her tears, be careless and try to stop sacrificing myself just advised by my doc.... But its hard.... so hard... especially when you heard your daughter laugh... Feeling guilty... Feeling to be a bad man... Feeling sad... I felt don't have heart.. Every bad things can be heard echoing in my mind...I am fighting with myself... I just want to sit on the top of the hill... silence and feel my peace...

My beast was lose And I hurt anyone who close It's my habbit To make your pain deep Hurt is done And it can't be undone I'm sorry To make you all in misery Now you know the risk How nasty I am could be Few who can bear me Few who can reach me I am sorry too for those who insist beside me and thank you to understand me V'z whfg ab bar...

My future is gone My dream is gone My plans are gone My projects are gone Live happy forever ever after is gone My apartment is gone My over sea beach is gone My warmth hug is gone Everything that I like is gone My will of live is gone I only have hope Hope that I sleep and never wake up again V'z whfg ab bar...

It used to be beautiful But not today The songs that I always listen Only digging more hurt today Every memory related to her Seem to be dark now The pain in the morning really bother Made me suffer and low But I managed to survive Listen to the new songs Trying my best to not remember her Everything about her seem to be wrong The new songs calm me down Make me sleepy and want to fall down Hope I can sleep And no need to wake up again and weep Who do you think will call me in the morning With heavy pressure and boring I can understand it all Its a miracle if there are someone dare to call V'z whfg ab bar...

So, new victim just falling In this Monday morning I give a big blow to those who care Make them silence and can't bear I knew everyone tired of me At the end they will leave me I am tired to myself too I wont blame you I lost my will on anything now I just lost my breath and soul I take my med that seem to useless now I can't walk and can only to crawl My logic said that you, you and you Always be there for me But I am sorry to you Somehow I destined to be lonely I wish this day end faster Just the whole world end too I am just too tired With no hope at all V'z whfg ab bar...

Finally my body can't handle it I am break down and so weak My failure keep haunted me I have failed to protect the precious for me Lie after lie, I can bear with it But when I heard you cried, It hurts me Your cry keep lingering in my mind I wish I could make it in time I hate myself then ever Lucky that I have no power I know its your choice We can turn back the time no more On my bed felt my fever I kept thinking what I have done to you Is this your punishment dear? After all the things I did to you? I am sorry for things I have done Till I deserve this kind of punishment The pain is unbearable Can only smile and hope it will be over No I wont give up I will keep my promise I wont stop breathing I still can help you after life I can only lay on my bed now And can only smile I put my trust to the hope now And those who still want me alive Soon I will meet my devil To make sure its real Soon I will meet my Maker To do my final deal V'z w...

"How come you can protect the one you love while you can't protect yourself?" Yeah... "That's why that happened, that's your mistake you can't make it to protect her" Yeah... "Does it hurt now?" Yeah.... "So why bother? No one give a damn shit about you" Hm.. some of them still "Well, the fact that you are alone now, just look at to your screen without no one to talk too" Yeah... "And this is weekend, they are having their time and better without you!" Yeah... "So where are the angel, devil, or any one who think really care about you?! lol" .. *silence* "Your angel left you because you are a burden for her" Yeah... "You see the wind or the devil but you are to afraid to talk and became nuisance for them" Yeah... "So, the best friend of yours now is me" Yeah.. "I am the one who help you keep survive with rage, anger, hate, sad a...