Skip to main content

Conversation

"How come you can protect the one you love while you can't protect yourself?"

Yeah...

"That's why that happened, that's your mistake you can't make it to protect her"

Yeah...

"Does it hurt now?"

Yeah....

"So why bother? No one give a damn shit about you"

Hm.. some of them still

"Well, the fact that you are alone now, just look at to your screen without no one to talk too"

Yeah...

"And this is weekend, they are having their time and better without you!"

Yeah...

"So where are the angel, devil, or any one who think really care about you?! lol"

.. *silence*

"Your angel left you because you are a burden for her"

Yeah...

"You see the wind or the devil but you are to afraid to talk and became nuisance for them"

Yeah...

"So, the best friend of yours now is me"

Yeah..

"I am the one who help you keep survive with rage, anger, hate, sad and sorrow or glory!"

Well... yeah...

"So.. What are you waiting for?"

Hm....

"You felt that hurt and pain inside right?"

Yeah...

"So much of it till you barely to breath"

Yeah...

"So use that scissors in your hand now, and take out the pain inside you, it will make you better just like the old time!"

Hm.. But i have my promise...

"To whom?? Those who leave you now alone?"

hm...

"see, You tried to be strong and hold your tears to drop, you are so pathetic!"

Its hurt so bad... but i have my promise... I wont let them down... They do care to me

"Who? your angel who disappointed you?"

Im not disappointed by her!!

"So why you bother thinking of her? she is an adult, she can choose whatever she wants!"

I failed to protect her, after trying for years... but i do still care her

"But nothing you can do, right?"

yeah...

"She dumped you, you are a burden for her, and you want her to be free, right?!"

Yeah...

"So, you dont have any promise to keep anymore! You are free now since she doesn't keep her promise too"

Yeah.... fuck..

"So, use that scissors in your hand, take out the pain inside of you.. only small scratch, i bet it will be better"

I have my promise to the devil!

"Her? who left you now in the weekend alone?"

But she is the only one who is "there" for me now!

"Where?! she uses her time with her special one, not you!"

But she do really care and she spare her time trying to save me! I know it!

"ok fine, but you only promise to not hurt your head! you can take out the pain from your hand or any other places"

But.. I don't want to to disappoint her.. I already lose someone special, not another one... No I won't..

"muahahahaha you try to survive behind their words?! how long do you think they will be "there" for you?!"

err....i dunno.. just trying to survive day by day...

Just a conversation at the afternoon, with rage, lonely and pain....
V'z whfg ab bar...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hidup Dalam Kenangan

 Dear diary, Lagi pengen nulis lagi untuk hari ini, tiba-tiba teringat lagi kenangan yang telah lalu bersama angel, bagaimana kami berpetualang di alam, yup, alam  kebetulan adalah hal yang kami sukai berdua, walopun terlambat untuk diketahui oleh kami. Salah satunya yang terlintas dalam benakku adalah ketika kami melakukan perjalanan ke pemandian air belerang di suatu tempat di daerah Tangerang. Perjalanan jauh yang seru dan kami menikmatinya. Setiba disana kami pun berendam di kolam yang tersedia, kolam-kolam dengan air memutih karena belerang dan asap yang mengepul. Setelah sekian lama berendam dan kami mengakhirinya, kami langsung kembali pulang setelah sempat berhenti untuk makan di tengah jalan. Ketika tiba di rumah, kami kok merasakan kelelahan yang amat sangat, badan berasa rontok dan lemas sekali. Dan ternyata, barulah kami tersadar bila kami terlalu lama berendam setelah membaca dari google. Dear diary, Aku tersenyum sendiri mengingat itu. Yup, saat ini aku hanya bis...

I am Happy

Welcome back dear my old friend Been very long time I miss you so much I am very glad that you came Though I have emotion no more Though my heart was blunt Turn out I still can feel you The warmth from the blood that burst from my wound Yes I know my place And yes I know where I belong Yes I know I'm the one who sick And yes I know I'm the one who seek I am happy dear Come my sadness Make my face warm with the tears I hug you tight the hurt and fear Good bye the light on sun rise Good bye the light on sun set I knew from beginning Its just another dream, just like it used to be V'z whfg ab bar...

Kuasa Angkara

Dear Blog, Loe tau? Udah lama banget gw gak merasakan rasa yang senikmat ini. Angkara yang meledak-ledak, kepasrahan yang membuat jagat membuat antidotenya untuk berontak secara brutal. Kursi yang melenting kutendang tanpa ada alasan memberikan kepuasaan. Atau si kuma yang tiba2 seperti melihat monster dan lari tunggang langgang ketika aku berjalan mendekatinya muahahahahah. Ya gw, si angkara murka sedang berkuasa dan aku membiarkannya. Aku muak dengan segalanya, aku murka bagai angkara sang dasamuka yang sukar terbendung tapi menikmatinya. Terbangun dari tidur, jongkok berusaha menahan letupan emosi yang akhirnya meletup dalam tendangan ninja tak berbayang, "ciaaaat", dan kursi kecil melenting tanpa alasan dan aku tersenyum sinis dengan puas. "Kau tidak ada apa-apanya kursi!" dan sang istri pura2 tidak melihat dan berusaha menjaga jarak, berpura-pura tidak ada apa-apa seperti biasa. Fuck you, who care. Kuhela gas motor sekuat yang kubisa, sayang motor bobrok u...