Skip to main content

The Battle

Day 4, I think I win it
Or I slept because I'm just too weak?
I don't see any different, and I am still trying to figure it out
Should I take the pill or not and because of you I still swallowed it

In this reality, I don't have that superpower who helped me
Combined with so much I miss her, I have no idea what's worst? The beast or missing her?
I don't see any different, I still very lonely in this time only
But well, maybe the med is too late? Because I am too old already?

Time is ticking, sun will rise
If I did can get out from the dark
Do I still can feel the wind stroke my face?
Does my angel still being there for me?
Will I be somebody else?

The beast keep whisper and seem make sense to me
All this time I am living in the dark
Will I survive in the light?
I miss that hurt already...
I want to scream out load crying, but I cant
Something hold me

And this poem, I don't give damn fuck with rhyme anymore
And the battle still goes on
And I am in the middle of confusing whirlwind

I'm still lonely... can somebody help me?
Or let alone the beast company me?
I am afraid of what will happen to me
I became somebody else and all leave me

V'z whfg ab bar...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Light Conversation

"Mi, I want this to be over...", I said. "What do you mean to be over?", she said "I want to die..." "Well, don't die here, just go to Palestine there", she said. I shocked and wandering.. "What do you think? Do you think I just go there and smack Israeli Soldier and wait till they shoot me?" "Well, at least you will have syahid over there...." Her answer.. I dunno why made me so useless... "But syahid mean we did jihad, has purpose and died when we fight for it. If we don't have any goal, just go over there and smack on Israeli's soldier, its just an act of stupidity, what is the different with I cut my hand here?" And the conversation continues on topic of Islamic martyr... "So.. I am not important for you?" She seem not ready with this question, and she answered, "well, your daughter needs you". "So you don't need me, only need my money?", she just laugh.

I am Sorry..

I cried.. not because I hurt.. But because I can feel your pain and hurt You are in pain because you broke up with him... But I am so in pain Tears drop down from my chin, heart shaking and loosing the will of everything. I cant share with anyone, because i have no one... But if there is anything I could do to heal you, but I have no idea too. I just only whisper to my Lord... Dear Lord... I am a man with full of sin... I am so low and been many times forgot about You. But I am humble kneel down on my knees... Begging... if You could take a way that pain... Dear my Lady, the one and only. I know i cant talk to you or make you any happy. But I will always be here beside you, to make you company. I know I am just no one, nothing and no exist, but will always be here for you in any shape you wanna be. All I can do now I am sorry... and I am hugging your shadow in my memory... And now... you told me you dont want me.. you want him to hug you, not me. And you also dont

Zero

So.... I need to start over everything from zero. Years passed and just realized I was running and running from the real toxic source. Now I need to face it... Trying to be tough when seeing her tears, be careless and try to stop sacrificing myself just advised by my doc.... But its hard.... so hard... especially when you heard your daughter laugh... Feeling guilty... Feeling to be a bad man... Feeling sad... I felt don't have heart.. Every bad things can be heard echoing in my mind...I am fighting with myself... I just want to sit on the top of the hill... silence and feel my peace...