My Voiceless Screaming

Yes, I got problem with my head both head actually now But what can say? Its who I am The past been proved are true I'am just the way they told me too But Its okay Its who I am :) So, If i became "welcome" on your mat Being spit and step on Its okay too Its who I am Worry not and don't get me wrong I am proud of who I am Grateful for what I am If its time for you to leave, just leave I'm not the subject of your simpathy And I wont hold you to keep beside me Its okay :) I know who I am :)

There was a sand castle From little tinny To up high like a hill With waves keep hitting it, make it no castle at all Some said it becomes a coral reef Other said it becomes simply sand But one thing for sure Many creatures living and enjoy happily on it One come and go many times Sand castle always the same Thought storm nor bright day come Its always the same Only few who know it few who see it few who understand it It was a sand castle, hit by the waves many times Sea is its tears the wind is its breath sound of the waves is its heart And the joy of creature playing on it, is its happiness Without them... There is no sand castle at all

What should I do if I tired of living?

He made his ritual Dancing la la la He said I am okay And I'm too la la la He mixed a liquor In his big bowl With his happy song Singing that I am okay But it seem he lied something That he doesnt want me to hear His new formula Made me sleeping WTF, does he want me to be a sleeping beauty? Where a prince come and kisses my lips then I can wake up? God damn, i don't wanna be a gay! But well, I kinda enjoy it, everything looks blur and fly And I kept dancing la la la V'z whfg ab bar

Welcome back dear my old friend Been very long time I miss you so much I am very glad that you came Though I have emotion no more Though my heart was blunt Turn out I still can feel you The warmth from the blood that burst from my wound Yes I know my place And yes I know where I belong Yes I know I'm the one who sick And yes I know I'm the one who seek I am happy dear Come my sadness Make my face warm with the tears I hug you tight the hurt and fear Good bye the light on sun rise Good bye the light on sun set I knew from beginning Its just another dream, just like it used to be V'z whfg ab bar...

Everyone loves her With her shiny beautiful face With her friendly lovely heart Taking care all creatures around her Everyone loves her With her shiny brain With her boots and whip Got so many fans around her While me just the unknown No one and no exist Push ppl to the surface While I'm still hide without face But worry not I don't care with my existence As long as I have my purpose I will just keep march and be a bos With a broken wings With my dried blood all over the body Sword in my hand and hole in my chest I used to be not to be seen Too tired to be acknowledged   Let them all to hurt and leave me V'z whfg ab bar...

A beautiful flower asked for protection from a defected ant An ant that has half of his head and ugly as fuck The ant like having a dream Ofc it welcomes the flower inside its home But it realize who is it anyway Compete with beautiful bee and butterfly that can fly? How come a defected weirdo ant like it can protect the flower Against those perfect bee and butterfly who want the flower? Let alone to protect the flower The ant itself hard to take care its own The defected ant thought can be safe under the flower's thorn But how come it can protect the flower from the threat while its just a clown? Love for the ant is like a dream For having someone beside him is just a myth it seem The ant tried to explain to the flower and the flower just push it to the corner The ant knows where its belong Its just a matter of time the flower will say good bye and so long An ant that has half of his head and ugly as fuck Wanting to has someone beauty like others jus...

There is a house that so pretty Lots of laugh and sunny So many sun light inside And the color all grey The wall is blue and white With the bear plays run and hide With its round eyes sparkling And the grey shadow around it The grass so green The smell so good Birds fly high at the sky of blue In the world so crowd and grey for sure The grey is there But you can't see it in the eyes the grey is there Inside of heart that dark, cold and blue V'z whfg ab bar...

Storms in another form Gotta face them on and on Lucky the beast can be tamed Or else I will be ashamed I tried to cover in one shelter Keep moving around to another shelters Hope there will be no disaster I need all of them to recover Every shelter has its own uniqueness That I need them to face the madness But I do afraid loosing any of them And put me in the vortex of confusion Oh dear oh dear I remember your hugs dear I want to keep all of them The warmth that I don't want to be forgotten V'z whfg ab bar...

I forgot this is weekend Most everybody hangout with their friends I have my friends too the beast inside, stomach and body that unwell too In few hours, mostly I will just wasting my times Selecting many movies that end up non to see, shame Last Sunday beast defeated me Almost cut my hand with the scissors and made me hit the wall beside me But this Saturday, pressure started to climbing I felt at the end, I am became toxic for everyone and i'm just nothing lol, no wonder everyone always leaving Its so funny really, so funny till i can't laugh and do anything I took my meds, so don't you worries And beside, the doc gave me plenty of sleeping pills Too bad he doesn't give me the cure of loneliness  V'z whfg ab bar...

After I think about it, maybe I am I'm not man of steel Strong is not my power Super sensitive it is With this super power I help many ppl Some of them know me Some are not Just like other super heroes They have their own villains Me too, I got it I have a beast and all the time fight it What about my weakness? I think love it is like a krypton Those all the facts If I'm not being used, I will be tortured and live like a suck And I am also like them I can't afford someone too close If not, my enemy will see it And they will hurt it Now I can understand who I am May be I am one of those super heroes Helping ppl around and broad But also always lonely on the road But maybe I'm just a toxic man, where any creatures touched by me became suffer I m just one of the villains Who tried hard to kill love inside But its too beautiful to be killed and made me suffer all the time V'z whfg ab bar...

"How come you can protect the one you love while you can't protect yourself?" Yeah... "That's why that happened, that's your mistake you can't make it to protect her" Yeah... "Does it hurt now?" Yeah.... "So why bother? No one give a damn shit about you" Hm.. some of them still "Well, the fact that you are alone now, just look at to your screen without no one to talk too" Yeah... "And this is weekend, they are having their time and better without you!" Yeah... "So where are the angel, devil, or any one who think really care about you?! lol" .. *silence* "Your angel left you because you are a burden for her" Yeah... "You see the wind or the devil but you are to afraid to talk and became nuisance for them" Yeah... "So, the best friend of yours now is me" Yeah.. "I am the one who help you keep survive with rage, anger, hate, sad a...

For me, when you are willing to change for her When you are willing to do whatever it takes for her When you are willing being hurt for her When you want to share your happiness and sadness with her When you are willing to sacrifice anything for her When you know she did mistakes, but you still love her When anything happened, but you still love her When you see her happy, you are happy as well When you are willing to let her go, because you love her My love not to own her My love is pure and bold in any circumstances I will always love her in whatever shape she wants me to be And love doesn't need a reason I love her.. pray to God to not to loving her But don't know why God still not grant it Well this is my life, and I am still grateful to have her If I don't have love, I have no reason to live for V'z whfg ab bar...

I am singing a happy song When you just arrive My waiting has been paid Seeing you all right But seem its just unfortunate Suddenly you are gone But you are home, so good night Hope we can talk tomorrow in light Its just a night just like the night I used to be Can only hold you tight Kissing your forehead on me Days will always come Just wait till doom I will enter my rest room with hoping you will come ah well.. I will wait for tomorrow My love to you wash away my sorrow But I'm so worry now Hope can get your message now "Ding" there you go Glad that I should worry not It's just a night like it used to be Alone with the bear beside me V'z whfg ab bar...

No matter where I go No matter what I talk No matter circumstances I don't seem I can get away from his shadow Compared with the shadow itself Me the defect one Can't be compared and just no one I only offer a simple love of a man I will always under the shadow Who humiliate me or treat me I'm just no one For an old man with the beast inside Its just a gift from God that you and me still one Even only a shadow, he can hurt me I accepted it as a punishment for me i will be okay dear, as long as you are happy I will just smile and don't need you to feel my misery The fact is, the shadow itself is nothing Only the beast inside make it something The fact is, every time the new wound appear Your laugh and smile, make it disappear The mark is there.. But I am happy V'z whfg ab bar...

Well this is not a poem, its only the imagination of my own. At the first time she got the super ability, I bet she can't rest well, wondering around and keep talking and share anything she think interesting and new to me. The one and the only one that she trust. And I should ofc listen up and do as best as I could give assistance and advice with my limitation as human with defect brain lol. Then after she struggling with this new capabilities, I am sure she will start to understand the positive and negative of it. And I bet she wont test it to another person that she can't trust, right? And surely in my imagination, I think the one that will accept this effect is me. Because Im the only one she can trust and ofc its an honor for me, to support my wife while she is in the process to master her abilities. I imagine by the time she start to master it, she will start to help the world with anyway she can. When I am just about to share my thinking, she should share the concent...

I am sorry for any unfortunate that you faced I am sorry that I can't be there for you I am sorry that you need to know me I am a weirdo with defect I am sorry for the things I did I am sorry for the rage I gave you I am sorry for the furry I throw on you I am sorry for make you tired and losing your mood I am sorry for being birth I am sorry for hurting my friends I am sorry for hurting the wind I am sorry for my existence I am sorry that i can't stop loving you.. I am Sorry... V'z whfg ab bar...

When the sky cracked by lightning When the storm coming When the ocean rocking When the troops marching When the mountain erupting Or when everything very peaceful With a couple so beautiful When the scenery so unforgettable With the cloud moving meaningful There is always the wind blows No matter the circumstances No matter how rocky your road is No matter how deep your love is No matter how difficult you are No matter how bad you are No matter how sad you are There is always the wind blows When its gone, how the world would be? Have the world pray for it? So they wont lose their wind? Something important always hard to see Hope the wind will always be V'z whfg ab bar...

I have the beast inside me After fighting for years Today I can tame it finally But I felt something wrong around me I am back to reality Where many damages and casualties I have no idea what to do Since most of the time the beast help me do My angel is busy I also have no devil beside me I am so lonely I miss my beast to company My life in high risk I just found it in reality I felt confuse how should be Do I need the beast to help me? All this time the beast make me confident To fight all obstacles and challenges The beast helps me with tears To feel hurt and sad as my friend in nears I knew at the end i will hopeless Weaker body and feeling useless But honesty now I dunno what to do In this reality I have no clue V'z whfg ab bar...

I fall asleep on my desk While everyone around me busy Look at my clock, it was nice deep sleep I wonder what they did Today the sky so bright Some birds flight and whistle I count them so many I wonder who their father from many There was a plane fly over head Big white on the body and green on its tail I wonder where its heading I wonder who are they inside them I wish them safe journey Was talk with my angel She looks red and hot like chili I can see she is so fresh and healthy I wonder how she could help her friends Hope everything all right and smoothly How about me? I dunno why i am hell so sleepy I wonder how the beast inside me While i am this weak and sleepy Even my bear show his belly This so funny V'z whfg ab bar