Skip to main content

In Rage and Blind

She is so bitching today.. and also so fragile. I can understand her situation since I am on her position when she dumped me. Everything she felt now are same like what I felt. But with full of her rage and blind of love, how she could understand that she did the same thing to me.

So I am sorry that you need to face it, I did my best but my body started to hurting me. The effect I got now doubled and seem no one can understand me. I fall sick, and i can only sorry to me.

But well.. I wish she could pass this trial with easy... the following days would be hard and roughly. But no worry, I will always right here be ready, in whatever shape you want me to be.

I just hope God give me strength and healthy.. because now i got fever and very low energy...

V'z whfg ab bar..

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I am Sorry..

I cried.. not because I hurt.. But because I can feel your pain and hurt You are in pain because you broke up with him... But I am so in pain Tears drop down from my chin, heart shaking and loosing the will of everything. I cant share with anyone, because i have no one... But if there is anything I could do to heal you, but I have no idea too. I just only whisper to my Lord... Dear Lord... I am a man with full of sin... I am so low and been many times forgot about You. But I am humble kneel down on my knees... Begging... if You could take a way that pain... Dear my Lady, the one and only. I know i cant talk to you or make you any happy. But I will always be here beside you, to make you company. I know I am just no one, nothing and no exist, but will always be here for you in any shape you wanna be. All I can do now I am sorry... and I am hugging your shadow in my memory... And now... you told me you dont want me.. you want him to hug you, not me. And you also dont ...

Complicated Hurt

I dunno what should I type here, since indeed I felt so complicated now. My heart still inside of her, and I can feel her love to him. This made me so hurt... At the same time, I knew you just broken heart. You expect more from him but he didn't return just the way you wanted. This also made me hurt... I love you. My love to you is whatever you are happy with whoever you wanna be. The situation you faced now really put me in the corner. I felt so many knifes stabbed to my chest and heart and I am hardly to understand what to do. I felt broken heart twice. The feeling when I broken heart because your left me and the feeling what you felt now. I felt so weak and sorrow, but I know this is not my own feeling. This is what you feel now. And at the same time, I also envy, jealous and hurt since I can see how big you crush on him, not me. This is my curse.. this could be my punishment, I am so suffer, but can only to understand. I will do whatever I can, just to make you happy. A...

Zero

So.... I need to start over everything from zero. Years passed and just realized I was running and running from the real toxic source. Now I need to face it... Trying to be tough when seeing her tears, be careless and try to stop sacrificing myself just advised by my doc.... But its hard.... so hard... especially when you heard your daughter laugh... Feeling guilty... Feeling to be a bad man... Feeling sad... I felt don't have heart.. Every bad things can be heard echoing in my mind...I am fighting with myself... I just want to sit on the top of the hill... silence and feel my peace...