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Celoteh Hati Menunggu Laundry

Bukan aku tak mau bercengkrama di tengah rumah, tapi dorongan hati ini begitu besar untuk segera kembali ke depan laptop. Sebuah jendela ajaib yang menghubungkan duniaku dan duniamu. Sebuah jalan ajaib yang membuatku bisa melepas rinduku. tak mengapa kamu sedikit terucap, tapi aku menikmati setiap kata yang keluar dari mulutmu.

Bahkan tanpa terucappun, aku merasa tak sendiri hanya dengan duduk disini, di tempat ini, setiap saat, setiap hari. Mungkin aku bisa saja menonton tontonan menarik hati, tapi hakikatnya aku hanya berusaha membenamkan dalam hati, keyakinan bila engkau ada di jendela ajaib disebrangku. Kamu dengan kegiatanmu sendiri, dan aku disini dengan celoteh, tontonan, doa dan keluh kesah rindu kelu dihati.

Ah sayang... entah bagaimana lagi aku harus tunjukkan betapa dalam cinta ini... beberapa kali aku berusaha diam dan menyelami. Menurut tulisan para pujangga dengan embel-embel jurnal dan beberapa pendekar ODB di youtube, cara membedakan manik dengan rindu sejati adalah dengan mencoba diam. Akupun mencobanya, diam tidak terlalu banyak bicara...

Dan ternyata...

Aku tersiksa... rindu meluluh lantakkan setiap rasa sakit dan egoisme yang membelenggu. Cinta mengharu biru membuncah betapa mulut ini dibungkam tak lah bisa menutupi rindu ini pada mu... Yah, aku pasrah... aku akui aku bucin... sering memang terluka akibat "balas dendammu", tapi aku hanya bisa tersenyum, karena entahlah.. cinta ini mengalahkan segalanya. Dan memberikan aku kekuatan untuk berubah, memperluas hati seluas samudra, memberikan hikmah dan pengertian walopun sedikit kabel terputus disana sini....

Ah cinta.... wajahmu, senyum mu, dagumu, rahangmu, matamu.... kupingmu, rambutmu.... keras kepalamu, jahilmu, mreweh-mreweh mu, dan banyak lagi tentangmu, telah menoreh hati ini. Tapi aku tau siapa diriku. Aku tau dimana tempatku. Terpuruk mu adalah terpuruk ku juga. Dan kebingunganmu membuat ku terbingung juga. Yang perlu kamu tau, kamu tidak lah usah ragu. Kebahagiaan mu adalah kebahagiaanku juga.

Telah banyak kata terungkap sepanjang kita bersama
- sometime we love woman because she is beautiful, but sometime woman is beautiful because we love her. and you are both of them
- every second is our last moment
- i love you more then love
- heaven is not heaven without you in it

Mungkin akan banyak lagi kata untuk wakili rasa ini... tapi entahlah... sesak ini tak juga berkurang... hufh..

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