My Voiceless Screaming

I had a house with the angel who saved me She has another, burnt the house to the ground and i almost lost everything I survived, but years with humiliation I then have a new house again with another angel who saved me She has another one but don't want to let me go. She burnt the house, and I am in a big debt and felt in very filthy community I survived, with broken helmet, my jaw miss located, saved several times by those who care when I am bout to jump to the valley I then have a new house, the most shiny then any other house I did a mistake, she left me for other I survived, with hand got cut... I then have a same house, still shiny and i love her still She left me again, for the same person i survive, with bruise and blue in my hand Then now, I have a same house, still shiny and i love her still, but got the rule inside, its possible she left me if he ask for her. Also its possible to to have her thirsty filled by other if I can't give it to her. All not ...

I will just smile But not now I'm so happy in my place The place where I belong The place that I used to be I am missing that lonelyness I am missing that hurt I am missing that pain And I have it all now Let me just enjoy it for a while In the corner V'z whfg ab bar...

When a tadpole want to be a frog It needs to wait When a cocoon want to be a butterfly It needs to wait When a grass need to be a rice It needs to wait When an egg need to hatched It needs to wait I wish could kill the time So i don't need to wait... V'z whfg ab bar...

The Mountain is always cloudy No matter how hard I try, I cant make it happy Doubt always can be seen For all the things it did and sins I would love to put myself to the ground if I have too Together with you to walk through I am hoping that you trust me That I wont leave you beside me The mountain stood there with agony Trying to keep the burden by itself and it hurt me But no worry dear, I will climb it Spit your lava and rocks to me, I will do my best to keep you company V'z whfg ab bar...

Loosing my hand Who care?! Loosing my mind Who the fuck care?! They said help please I help them They said come here right away I did my best to run I fall down Sweating Tired Sick Fever Hurt but.... WHO CARE! Please do this do that come on please put that That bull can do this, why this bull can't? I drawing and put the picture on the big fuckin wide big poster but WHO CARE?! Don't you all see that I defend whole world from rain of meteors and aliens and I still doing my best for all of you?! but.... WHO CARE?!!!

March to a battle field Win it and have a glory Save your beloved one or enemy Trying your best to not empty Hard you try Finally you die Became part of the shadow Gone by the wind that blow to the sky

There is a house that so pretty Lots of laugh and sunny So many sun light inside And the color all grey The wall is blue and white With the bear plays run and hide With its round eyes sparkling And the grey shadow around it The grass so green The smell so good Birds fly high at the sky of blue In the world so crowd and grey for sure The grey is there But you can't see it in the eyes the grey is there Inside of heart that dark, cold and blue V'z whfg ab bar...

Shaking Sweating Hard to breath Hard to think Hurt to the body Hurt to the mind Hurt to the heart Hurt to my stomach My body start to refuse what I am telling My head hurt and spinning My bear suddenly coming Calm me down and make me resting I want to rest... But not now.. I need to go home She is waiting... Not now... V'z whfg ab bar...

When you are dancing I just smile When you are bitching I just smile When you are hurt I just smile When you are thwart I just smile When you are angry I just smile When you leave me I just smile when you asked me to hate you I just can't When you asked why I just smile You maybe need me dear But I need you more We don't know what will happen dear But will always be here with smile for you V'z whfg ab bar...

Though I will be okay after I got my med But I'm not okay I need to deal with it everyday With the love one and the one that I care Fighting for life once in lifetime is all right Fighting for life everyday is something else Its hard when you are alone to see the day so bright Especially when the beast act its best I am so grateful to have an angel and devil The one that I love and care so much There is no one that can give or deal It is the hug of life Thank you for being there for me my devil Thank you for coming back to me my angel V'z whfg ab bar..

Storms in another form Gotta face them on and on Lucky the beast can be tamed Or else I will be ashamed I tried to cover in one shelter Keep moving around to another shelters Hope there will be no disaster I need all of them to recover Every shelter has its own uniqueness That I need them to face the madness But I do afraid loosing any of them And put me in the vortex of confusion Oh dear oh dear I remember your hugs dear I want to keep all of them The warmth that I don't want to be forgotten V'z whfg ab bar...

I know I should sleep now, but I am afraid my beast act weird tomorrow, but this moment is too bad to be forgotten, so I have a peace now with my beast (hi beast lol). I got a good feeling after watching "Instant Family". And I better to write this down now. Everyone has their own obstacles in their life, just like my devil's said few minutes ago, everything has its own reason. Also with the angel who just come down with different shape of her and greets me, she said maybe that's how universe work. I don't know how the future looks like, but I am very grateful at the end we made a peace with our hurt, pain and the past. I am not sure if tomorrow i will be back to dark, cold and blue again, but at this moment, for those of you who has bipolar, just don't give up. At the end you will have those people who will be there for you when you need them most. Don't think too much hard, just like my devil's said, just trying to survive day by day. And I pro...

I forgot this is weekend Most everybody hangout with their friends I have my friends too the beast inside, stomach and body that unwell too In few hours, mostly I will just wasting my times Selecting many movies that end up non to see, shame Last Sunday beast defeated me Almost cut my hand with the scissors and made me hit the wall beside me But this Saturday, pressure started to climbing I felt at the end, I am became toxic for everyone and i'm just nothing lol, no wonder everyone always leaving Its so funny really, so funny till i can't laugh and do anything I took my meds, so don't you worries And beside, the doc gave me plenty of sleeping pills Too bad he doesn't give me the cure of loneliness  V'z whfg ab bar...

After I think about it, maybe I am I'm not man of steel Strong is not my power Super sensitive it is With this super power I help many ppl Some of them know me Some are not Just like other super heroes They have their own villains Me too, I got it I have a beast and all the time fight it What about my weakness? I think love it is like a krypton Those all the facts If I'm not being used, I will be tortured and live like a suck And I am also like them I can't afford someone too close If not, my enemy will see it And they will hurt it Now I can understand who I am May be I am one of those super heroes Helping ppl around and broad But also always lonely on the road But maybe I'm just a toxic man, where any creatures touched by me became suffer I m just one of the villains Who tried hard to kill love inside But its too beautiful to be killed and made me suffer all the time V'z whfg ab bar...

Taken a long journey Bouncing around Hours to hold on For a simple hug And wake up from my dream Back to reality Struggling hard to remember good memory The warmth of that simple hug is one of the reason to keep me survive Believe me.. its not that easy When you think over it, it just drive me crazy I want you to keep lay on my chest I want your hand feel the beat of my heart Back to reality Those simple things help me to survive For others its just a hug For me, its a hug that worth to fight for, it is the hug of life Back to reality... I can feel the wound start to bleeding again.. My energy drained out I just want to close my eyes and hope can meet you in my dream Just a simple hug... I don't ask for more... I am begging God... Give me once more.. V'z whfg ab bar...

When you are gone Time like a decade Together Time runs so fast Together Everything seem to be normal When you just leave Something is not right Tiny hurt felt inside So tiny but make me take a deep breath Just be grateful for what I got Hope the warmth will last not short

This is what I felt also... :(

I have a spare time and need to keep me busy, so I wrote this. I am not good English speaker so apologize for the grammar. See Us as a Person We can't just introduce to everyone with, "Hi, I'm bipolar", no we can't do that. No matter how frequently you remind us that it’s okay not to be okay, stigma will always be there. See us as a person first who has bipolar. We Are Not Using Bipolar as an Excuse You are wrong if you think that if I can't do this and that or if you direct us something that I can't do, I use bipolar as an excuse. What I felt with pain and hurt is real just the way it is. Its serious threat and sometime I do so close to cut my veins or just give up on my motorcycle to let it go. Just a side note, a dangerous thing for bipolar motorist is that when we having our manic, we could ride our vehicle as fast as we could because we are so confident and happy. And for those who has "rapid swing" like me, it’s a matter of second...

courtesy of vitorassis88 Heart in my hand Red all over it I squeeze it hard But I can't scream or cry Pain i can feel I don't think I can reach you I kneel down with my broken wings I am a demon with no will Don't you know that I miss you? I need someone to talk too? I asked to my shadow Which nothing it can do I will just wait for my devil with smile and scars on my face I put my heart inside my chest I sew it with my hair Crawling to the corner of my cave To the dark place where I belong I bend my knee and lay my head Waiting till the end time coming V'z whfg ab bar...

Sit down on the front of my cave I can hear my own breath I can see her silhouette I talk and hear my voice back Rain falling front of my cave I can hear it crystal clear from the inside I can see the shadow moving Its the shadow of what I'm doing The ice started to freezes I talk so much to break it It shows the stone behind it I can hear echo of my voices I lookup the sky expect for nothing I look inside the cave to see nothing I wait someone to say something What I can hear is the beat of my heart shouting I will just lay on here Wrap my body with my own hand Imagine warmth spread to my body In the middle of heavy rain V'z whfg ab bar...

Walking in the dark at 2AM When I can't sleep and forgot who I am Thought I have dealt with my madness The fact is I still haunted by loneliness Walking in the dark at 2AM The bear wake up and make me calm With his purr and warmth hair I can felt and see his care Walking in the dark at 2AM Nothing on my phone and my laptop the same The night so silence and peace I sleep again and hope can rest in peace Turn out I still alive I am grateful for anything I have Now just starting the day With hope the devil say hi V'z whfg ab bar...

Hurt still can be felt But not that much anymore I understand my purpose reached I don't need you anymore At the first time its like me who need you End up we need each other But your wings now has been fixed You can fly above heaven no need to worry me anymore I will now continue my journey With the beast and devil beside me I keep praying to the God Hope He always love you just like used to be If you miss me, just come down sometime I will always here on earth where I belong Thank you for everything you have done You have nothing to sorry and so long My wings are still broken Wounds healed, but the marks still there I am starting to walk again With smile and scars on my face Come devil, time for you and me to dance We will see where is it to be end V'z whfg ab bar...

My future is gone My dream is gone My plans are gone My projects are gone Live happy forever ever after is gone My apartment is gone My over sea beach is gone My warmth hug is gone Everything that I like is gone My will of live is gone I only have hope Hope that I sleep and never wake up again V'z whfg ab bar...

It used to be beautiful But not today The songs that I always listen Only digging more hurt today Every memory related to her Seem to be dark now The pain in the morning really bother Made me suffer and low But I managed to survive Listen to the new songs Trying my best to not remember her Everything about her seem to be wrong The new songs calm me down Make me sleepy and want to fall down Hope I can sleep And no need to wake up again and weep Who do you think will call me in the morning With heavy pressure and boring I can understand it all Its a miracle if there are someone dare to call V'z whfg ab bar...

So, new victim just falling In this Monday morning I give a big blow to those who care Make them silence and can't bear I knew everyone tired of me At the end they will leave me I am tired to myself too I wont blame you I lost my will on anything now I just lost my breath and soul I take my med that seem to useless now I can't walk and can only to crawl My logic said that you, you and you Always be there for me But I am sorry to you Somehow I destined to be lonely I wish this day end faster Just the whole world end too I am just too tired With no hope at all V'z whfg ab bar...

Finally my body can't handle it I am break down and so weak My failure keep haunted me I have failed to protect the precious for me Lie after lie, I can bear with it But when I heard you cried, It hurts me Your cry keep lingering in my mind I wish I could make it in time I hate myself then ever Lucky that I have no power I know its your choice We can turn back the time no more On my bed felt my fever I kept thinking what I have done to you Is this your punishment dear? After all the things I did to you? I am sorry for things I have done Till I deserve this kind of punishment The pain is unbearable Can only smile and hope it will be over No I wont give up I will keep my promise I wont stop breathing I still can help you after life I can only lay on my bed now And can only smile I put my trust to the hope now And those who still want me alive Soon I will meet my devil To make sure its real Soon I will meet my Maker To do my final deal V'z w...

Your kids are not real Your wife are not real All seem so far away and I can't be heal The only real thing you can feel is the loneliness that you can't deal The feeling that you just want to give up Expecting a real hug that you will never have The loneliness that torture you rise up Keep finding the reason to stay alive Less people want to bear it At the end you felt that you need to face it alone I got bipolar and I accept it Hitting the wall just to make me not down Who can understand how painful it is The feeling that crush your will of live No wonder everyone at the end leave Hard to understand for me why they insist to make me alive Years ago I can make it to stay alive When I am about to stop my breath Now I felt more easy to do so But I tried my best to hold your words You said you do care fore me So, Im staying alive to make your care important for me Will it be enough to make me survive? The hurt still there, but for now I think its enough V'z whfg ab bar...

"How come you can protect the one you love while you can't protect yourself?" Yeah... "That's why that happened, that's your mistake you can't make it to protect her" Yeah... "Does it hurt now?" Yeah.... "So why bother? No one give a damn shit about you" Hm.. some of them still "Well, the fact that you are alone now, just look at to your screen without no one to talk too" Yeah... "And this is weekend, they are having their time and better without you!" Yeah... "So where are the angel, devil, or any one who think really care about you?! lol" .. *silence* "Your angel left you because you are a burden for her" Yeah... "You see the wind or the devil but you are to afraid to talk and became nuisance for them" Yeah... "So, the best friend of yours now is me" Yeah.. "I am the one who help you keep survive with rage, anger, hate, sad a...

Home Destroyed Angel fly away I failed To protect my precious away My heart taken My soul taken Only my love is not And hope after life still You fall to rise again By the time you fall, I fall too I tried my best to protect you But I am nothing compared to All Mighty too Years... Every seconds is our last moment With the wind, beast and everything around me I start to walking again, with a big hole in me JTTBOI, Just take the best of it Will always be here dear I love you more then love Finally I knew, what is my love to you Be strong dear, or I will go there to the hell to save you V'z whfg ab bar...

For decades I've been living But those times passed very fast Few hours you are leaving But those hours like decades My heart is hurt, not for sad Nor its of sorrow I'm longing to see you bad The one that I love, tomorrow I tried to hold myself to write Afraid it will hold you from free But the pressure inside for missing you Its so great and I cant stop loving you Be good my dearest angel I will be waiting for you I hope I can hear the ring of my bell Let me know that you're safe too V'z whfg ab bar...

For me, when you are willing to change for her When you are willing to do whatever it takes for her When you are willing being hurt for her When you want to share your happiness and sadness with her When you are willing to sacrifice anything for her When you know she did mistakes, but you still love her When anything happened, but you still love her When you see her happy, you are happy as well When you are willing to let her go, because you love her My love not to own her My love is pure and bold in any circumstances I will always love her in whatever shape she wants me to be And love doesn't need a reason I love her.. pray to God to not to loving her But don't know why God still not grant it Well this is my life, and I am still grateful to have her If I don't have love, I have no reason to live for V'z whfg ab bar...

Today we both know dark angel rising With her dark magic taunting But I know you tried hard to hold it dear For that I admire you and hope we can bear I know you are tired dear But you should know that you are not alone I know you don't want me to face it dear But keep in mind, we both are bond Don't you forget that half of me is inside you And I kept half of you inside mine too I know we both has that beast now But we both have faced the worst and know So no worry dear Use your magic tool to fight it I will waiting for you dear Here right beside you fighting it lohebu.. V'z whfg ab bar...

I am singing a happy song When you just arrive My waiting has been paid Seeing you all right But seem its just unfortunate Suddenly you are gone But you are home, so good night Hope we can talk tomorrow in light Its just a night just like the night I used to be Can only hold you tight Kissing your forehead on me Days will always come Just wait till doom I will enter my rest room with hoping you will come ah well.. I will wait for tomorrow My love to you wash away my sorrow But I'm so worry now Hope can get your message now "Ding" there you go Glad that I should worry not It's just a night like it used to be Alone with the bear beside me V'z whfg ab bar...

Dark, Cold And Blue That's how i used to be Be honest to you all, I hate being normal Don't try to understand me, No one can Hell of the problem today From clients and everyone More comfort by keeping my style Dark, Cold and Blue, that how  I stay I don't care if the beast broke the cage I don't care if I didn't normal I don't care I need to burn my hate As long as my problem solved, I don't care at all Then here he is... The bear coming from no where With his purr he calm me down How the fuck he know it? I don't care Although I am in dark, cold and blue I take my med, so everyone should be okay So, stay away from me I will be good and okay V'z whfg ab bar...

Been waiting for so long Still no words or anything Can't work or do a thing My heart and body like flying After decades of waiting Suddenly you just screaming I am so freak out and about to fainting I am worry something wrong happening Then you just confuse I'm still furious and curious Then you just burst to laugh But I still try to relax Its actually not a disaster Its disaster from a finger She just typed "p" than "o" But the result make me feel loosing whole world "Hellp my love" "Hello my love" Indeed its only small typo but I'm sweating and already freak out V'z whfg ab bar...

No matter where I go No matter what I talk No matter circumstances I don't seem I can get away from his shadow Compared with the shadow itself Me the defect one Can't be compared and just no one I only offer a simple love of a man I will always under the shadow Who humiliate me or treat me I'm just no one For an old man with the beast inside Its just a gift from God that you and me still one Even only a shadow, he can hurt me I accepted it as a punishment for me i will be okay dear, as long as you are happy I will just smile and don't need you to feel my misery The fact is, the shadow itself is nothing Only the beast inside make it something The fact is, every time the new wound appear Your laugh and smile, make it disappear The mark is there.. But I am happy V'z whfg ab bar...

Once, I have a time machine From the beast that insist Pushing me to look at in And now I realize why he persists I can saw me, with pride and glory With the angel beside me Fighting all the challenges and those who not agree With blood all over my body, and fire from my eyes to see With gently and smooth, the angel telling me Something that is good for me And to my surprise, my body burnt by the furry And I am the one who tearing apart her wings It keeps going and going, like a horror that never ending Its so painful that I let me taken over by the beast And hurt the one that care me most, with my claw blindly Let her cried alone, and i can only said sorry I cant see more... It hurts me more I can hear the beast laughing I can feel again the warmth from my blood flowing from the wound that just happen again I am sorry dear... For all the things I did to you I am sorry... I can see the past, but I cant turn back the time I am sorry I tried to find the one ...

Night still long, I am hardly to sleep I am so sleepy, but my heart in beats Is it because my angel is in her trip? Just wish her car doesn't need to drift Morning almost coming and its rainy Cold to the bone with wind whisper calm me down Everything gonna be all right my heart dear Let the beast stay sleep inside My bear keep playing, running around He gives me warmth with his fur and claw In this down morning, I just sent my pray Hope you darling coming home and be safe Time is up, now i need to take my med The beast yawn from its sleep, deep inside I sent lot of bs to her whatsapp Just to pretend that I am alright V'z whfg ab bar...

The existing of you today remind me to disco light Sometime you there, sometime you are not Well, I knew you are busy and its your right I will just dancing here under your disco light Me and the beast seem to have a peace agreement We celebrate our joy by dancing together But surely I will always aware Since the beast always not fair The rain coming again my eyes are heavy I hold my eyes hoping I still can see the blinking of your status in my pc The disco light that make me lonely V'z whfg ab bar...

Well this is not a poem, its only the imagination of my own. At the first time she got the super ability, I bet she can't rest well, wondering around and keep talking and share anything she think interesting and new to me. The one and the only one that she trust. And I should ofc listen up and do as best as I could give assistance and advice with my limitation as human with defect brain lol. Then after she struggling with this new capabilities, I am sure she will start to understand the positive and negative of it. And I bet she wont test it to another person that she can't trust, right? And surely in my imagination, I think the one that will accept this effect is me. Because Im the only one she can trust and ofc its an honor for me, to support my wife while she is in the process to master her abilities. I imagine by the time she start to master it, she will start to help the world with anyway she can. When I am just about to share my thinking, she should share the concent...

I let my guard off I didn't expect it to happen Its just happen so fast Till I felt like in the oven Started with high tone And the beast seem to lose I felt thirsty and not enough till fire emerged and let myself burnt I shocked by my own rage I am afraid of what I am Now I can feel the blood flow from my wound rustle from a small hole I thought I have tame it I thought I have put it in cage The hurt is done The new mark just made I am sorry for being exist I do really sorry for this I don't deserve to live with anyone Or my rampage will harm someone V'z whfg ab bar...

Dear my lady, I know you are gloomy Just be patience dear, soon you will be back to your hommy Days passed, soon will be over Just be patience dear, soon you wont sober Dear my lady, I know just trying to survive Just living day by day trying to alive Be patience dear, time will be fast In near moment, will be back to your palace Worry not my dear, about how I am I will do my best and wont put me in jam Ofc I felt hard inside, hold how much I miss you But I am relieved, I have home that its you So, hang on there my lady Be strong for me I do my best dear To coming home early V'z whfg ab bar...

I am sorry for any unfortunate that you faced I am sorry that I can't be there for you I am sorry that you need to know me I am a weirdo with defect I am sorry for the things I did I am sorry for the rage I gave you I am sorry for the furry I throw on you I am sorry for make you tired and losing your mood I am sorry for being birth I am sorry for hurting my friends I am sorry for hurting the wind I am sorry for my existence I am sorry that i can't stop loving you.. I am Sorry... V'z whfg ab bar...

You feel all right when you have it Just one ordinary day from many But when you lost it The day became nasty like a bitch You don't know how precious what you have Until the very moment you don't have Sometime you can only regret Sometime you have a chance to make it right Change is a necessity Someone can also change for their precious one The others too selfish to admit that they already have it Keep reject it till at the end, regret it V'z whfg ab bar...

Thought I am dreaming To have an angel as my wife And wind then blowing I can feel what you are feeling I cant make a difference now Which is real or not Or am I living in hell or heaven But together with you, I am willing to fight hell or heaven Sun is set now Light replaced by dark I know you are tired now Be patience my love, tomorrow will be light So here I am now Waiting for the words to come If you cant make it dear That would be okay, because tomorrow will always come V'z whfg ab bar...

What should I type here? Felt like battle field after the war Wound stop bleeding and mark still there So quiet but so many bodies scattered everywhere The damaged done of yesterday battle Make me dumbfounded like a donkey Rings sound can be heard by my ear I am wonder if you still in love with me It would be great if you do I can be any shape you want me to be Even if in your heart is not me I will always happy as long as you are happy Hurt is done, time has been passed I can keep smile with more hurt inside it I can see the end time is coming but I can't do anything about it Morning come Sun is about to rise I am smiling With love still pure and bold inside me V'z whfg ab bar...

I can't fly with this broken wings I can't breath with the hole in my chest I can't think with my defected brain I'm just useless and kneel down I'm like a parasite Can only suck the "calm" from others I'm just a leech Who suck warmth from the rest I take my med I used to raged I dunno who i am anymore The demon that don't have any power The beast inside laughing Tough he is in the cage cant breaking But years he shaped me I felt the beast is me Tonight i declare the down of the demon That dark cold blue demon fall down Because the hurt that i can't bear more By the arrows shoot from another beast outside of me Well, its all right I still alive V'z whfg ab bar...

Tick tock tick tock I kept looking to the clock Its less then an hour from your last talk Just be patience till she knocks Tick tock tick tock Ding! Damn.. false alarm Another notification like a spam Just be patience and be calm Tick tock tick tock Clock keep ticking I can hear it ticking Boo! its a lie, no sound of clock from laptop I kept starring to your icon in the laptop Tick tock tick tock My heart became ache My breath start so heavy Hours already I am so missing you like crazy I hope no problem will be V'z whfg ab bar...

Behind your beauty Your silhouette now being nasty Sometime more stronger then your own Create damages with fury and sworn Dear my breath and my soul I have nothing to offer except my pure soul My love to you is pure and bold And you wont find it from the crowd You know about this but not with dark angel You're sorry but its not you to blame Its dark angel that making the trouble Put me on the corner and made me like a lame But worry not my angel I have tool of my own I just simply smile in the battle Wind surely always blown My wings got so many holes My body is defect and not that perfect I don't mind as the target of your gross And I still love you that is the fact So, I'm hurt, embrace the pain and smile I just remembered that dark angel almost the same like mine V'z whfg ab bar...

Closed Can feel Bleed Just smile Stood up Determination Life of death Grateful Understanding I'm unique I'm okay Spread my wings and fly away V'z whfg ab bar...

While I am working, I kept deep breathing Focus divided, to my work and waiting Waiting just for anything From you dear my darling Is this normal? Rain falling again I am talking with some friends But my heart keep beatings Is this normal? Words after words I am reading But in my mind your name keeps coming Tried hard to working Is this normal? When I got that messages from you My heart calm I can breath slowly I felt secured and warm is this normal? How normal ppl looks like? Free from the beast or anything alike? V'z whfg ab bar...

I am learning to be normal But my heart so in pain I am trying to work as usual But I felt almost faint I want to be honest I just want you to be mine only But that's not normal ppl acts I need to stop possessive and let you free But I do lonely Now I only have you to company No one to talk too with friendly No ding or anything specially I am learning to be normal With hurt still in my mind No wonder with love someone can be animal But also can be kind Ah... I wish I could take out this pain and smile.. but I know that isn't normal... V'z whfg ab bar...

Please talk to me my dear I am so missing you Half day already But I missing you like crazy My head spinning so hard My heart ache too If I have a magic lamp I will try to summon you Don't you know my dear The bear keep me accompany I promised to be a better man But this longing of you torture me You calm me down You support me to stay put But how can I say it That my heart keep screaming wanting you Oh dear... I miss you... I knew dear.. I need to be patience till I can beside you... V'z whfg ab bar...

Day 4, I think I win it Or I slept because I'm just too weak? I don't see any different, and I am still trying to figure it out Should I take the pill or not and because of you I still swallowed it In this reality, I don't have that superpower who helped me Combined with so much I miss her, I have no idea what's worst? The beast or missing her? I don't see any different, I still very lonely in this time only But well, maybe the med is too late? Because I am too old already? Time is ticking, sun will rise If I did can get out from the dark Do I still can feel the wind stroke my face? Does my angel still being there for me? Will I be somebody else? The beast keep whisper and seem make sense to me All this time I am living in the dark Will I survive in the light? I miss that hurt already... I want to scream out load crying, but I cant Something hold me And this poem, I don't give damn fuck with rhyme anymore And the battle still goes on And...

The wind still not there I tried to blow it but cant be compared OTH my angel tried to heal the world I did my best with my broken wings to support I have nothing to offer except the will to help My ultimate weapon is empathy That can suppress the beast with lot of energies Now I am just like a kite with no string So weak, shaking and tried to live Tonight I know my place In my great palace as chair and work desk I will face another challenge That I need to face every moment My rest room with all creatures inside them Night still long... I am all alone But i am sure tomorrow Wind will blow and angel fly slow With my beast still howling low V'z whfg ab bar...

This should be fun The night that all welcome But not everyone I am the one Tonight is cloudy and its raining without wind cold is not the outside But here in my heart I am lonely already Without no one company me My angel will be leaving And I miss her already I take my med Hurt still in my chest and my head My heart beating so fast With the beast roaring trying to break free in rush I have no idea between taking my med and no V'z whfg ab bar...

When the sky cracked by lightning When the storm coming When the ocean rocking When the troops marching When the mountain erupting Or when everything very peaceful With a couple so beautiful When the scenery so unforgettable With the cloud moving meaningful There is always the wind blows No matter the circumstances No matter how rocky your road is No matter how deep your love is No matter how difficult you are No matter how bad you are No matter how sad you are There is always the wind blows When its gone, how the world would be? Have the world pray for it? So they wont lose their wind? Something important always hard to see Hope the wind will always be V'z whfg ab bar...

She just stay still But my heart beating so fast She just lay still But I knew my heart so crush Moment so quite Even the wind stop to blow I heavily take my breath And I cant feel my sorrow My eyes are so heavy I tried hard to not sleepy I am just so happy Although she didn't spoke any Dear my heart be calm Wind surely will blow again Dear my heart be calm Surely she will come back again Just enjoy this moment Every second is our last moment Be good my heaven Take care my heart that you're taken V'z whfg ab bar...

Oh my oh my Just about opening my eyes Suddenly I felt terrified I am missing her bad Night still dark Sun still not wake up I felt longing already Waiting for my lady She is about to leave But misery already thrive Wish I could be with her Forever and after Dear my lady my breath and my soul Let me know how to deal this feeling When I felt so longing While the beast inside keep howling I knew I have my weapon now To help me keep the beast in cage But the hurt of wanting you I felt the beast still in rage Dear my lady Safe journey I will always here waiting With the wind surrounding V'z whfg ab bar...

I take my med But I still hurt I missing you so much And its hurt The beast is in cage But I still hurt Remembered the eyes from the past And its hurt Does the beast released? So I felt this hurt? Or the hurt itself so strong? So I can feel it I honestly don't know What I have done, so the world cruel to me Or better I release the beast and let it be my own company Is this my destiny? To always be lonely? I'm tired of this Looking for sympathy V'z whfg ab bar...

I just witnesses a great battle So epic till I hardly to sleep The beast try its best to break the cage And the angel try her best to deal with it The sky wrecked and thunder echos The beast tried to roaming with no voice The angel with soft and smooth keep showing her love Gives a big blow to the beast till its give up I just witnesses a great battle With the wind stroke my cheek Patiently no matter what happen persistent to company me I can let my guard down finally With my angel beside me, and the wind still whisper I am so tired now and I am so worry if I'm in the right track But I am confident with the angel beside me Everything gonna be all right While no matter what happen, the wind still blow, right? The world of mine is the world of chaos Hope I can master it and be like a boss Boss of my destiny and take care my gross V'z whfg ab bar...